Generation Ex Files

Book Review: Reason to Believe

2010-08-30T13:56:00.001-04:00

Ryan from Reason to Believe posted this review of Generation Ex:I live in the United States where the divorce rate hovers between 50 and 60 percent. Tragically the rate of divorce for those who claim the name of Jesus is the same as those whom do not.Another way to look at it is like this; as summer rolls around and the wedding season gears up, you may be invited to several weddings. At each and

Book Review: Families.com (Valerie Nelson)

2010-08-30T13:34:00.002-04:00

I really appreciate this review from Valerie Nelson of Families.com. When I was writing Generation Ex, I did so with some trepidation about what divorced parents would think--especially my own! At the same time, I wanted to be an advocate for all the other children of divorce who weren't able to express their own feelings. I realized that what I would say would be difficult for parents to hear,

Rethinking Remarriage

2010-08-30T13:29:00.002-04:00

Every so often I find an article that quotes my book or an interview I've given. In the article below, Lynn Barton wonders if it is right for Christians with small children to remarry; she writes from experienceOne Sunday as I was staffing my church’s book table, a divorced mom asked me if we had any books for someone like her. She said she had been unable to find any that applied to her

A Reader Asks...Should I Stay in College?

2010-08-29T09:12:00.002-04:00

Hi Jen,I am wondering if I can get your take on a simple yet very important question I have. I am a college student in the wake of my parents divorce and I am having great difficulty forgiving them and avoiding resentment and anger towards my mother especially. Do you think it would be wise for me to take a year off from university to work on all of this and work to have a relationship with my

Generation Ex is Five Years Old

2009-04-20T10:58:00.000-04:00

My book, Generation Ex: Adult Children of Divorce and the Healing of Our Pain, released five years ago today. It's hard to believe that so much time has passed already, but when I think of all that has happened in that time, I'm amazed it's been that long!I wrote Generation Ex as a single career woman, living in Grand Rapids, Michigan in a townhouse with my dog. At the time, I wondered if I'd

How About the Heart

2009-03-04T11:59:00.003-05:00

Okay, I admit it. I watch The Bachelor. In fact, I've even dragged my husband into it. For the past few weeks, we talked about how much we liked this season because the women (especially the ones at the end) were likable and gracious. And of course, whenever there's someone from my old stomping grounds of Grand Rapids, we like to cheer the hometown girl. Coincidentally, this season's finale lined

Every Other Weekend

2009-01-01T11:21:00.001-05:00

Reba McEntire More CMT Music More CMT Music Videos

Divorce Movies in the Works

2008-10-27T11:34:00.003-04:00

Buzz Sugar reports: A.C.O.D. (Adult Children of Divorce)This is the title of a comedy that Miramax just picked up from Daily Show head writer Ben Karlin (more success for Daily Show peeps!) and Six Degrees co-creator Stu Zicherman's. The story follows a man who "discovers he was unknowingly part of a study on divorced children. He's enlisted in a follow-up years later that wreaks new havoc on his

Article

2008-10-13T11:31:00.003-04:00

It's been quite a while since I've posted. There's been quite a few complications with this pregnancy that have taken up my time and attention lately. For personal updates, check our our family blog.In the meantime, here's a pretty thorough overview of life as a child of divorce from a writer Down Under.

KTIS interview

2008-05-18T00:40:00.003-04:00

Morning sickness has hit full steam in the de Jong household so I've been laying low lately. However, on Monday, May 12, I was a guest on Kim Ketola's "Along the Way" program on KTIS.Click here to listen to the program. If you listen carefully, you can hear me trying not to be sick on the air!

A new project

2008-05-01T17:04:00.002-04:00

They say that writing a book is like giving birth. So, since I wrote a book, we decided it's time to work on a new project. Baby DJ is expected to arrive December 16!

CODs on TV: Psych

2008-02-11T09:12:00.000-05:00

Thank to the wonder that is Google Alerts, I came across this insightful post today. She does a great job outlining some of the common challenges of being an adult child of divorce, especially when our parents are dating.

Bad News for Baby Boomers

2008-02-04T10:34:00.000-05:00

Children of divorce face deaths of multiple parentsResponsibility for aged stepparent undefinedBy Elizabeth MarquardtThe Washington PostFebruary 02. 2008 12:15AMI had dinner with a friend whose mother had recently remarried, to a man who had never had children. Though happy for her mother, my friend was also bothered: If her mother were to die before the new husband, she wondered, would she

Two Babies

2007-12-25T18:17:00.000-05:00

For the last several months, Niels and I have had two things on our mind: getting pregnant and celebrating Christmas with Dutch Dad and Mom. Two babies. Our baby and the Christ child.Niels and I know that good things come to those who wait. In fact, Niels' wedding band is engraved with the words, "worth the wait." Almost five months into our marriage, I am certain that Niels was worth every

My First Dutch Poem!

2007-12-18T22:45:00.000-05:00

In my ongoing effort to learn my dear husband's native tongue, tonight we translated the poem from the beginning of my book into Dutch. So for my new Dutch family, this is for you:- de uitbarsting-scheidingis als een sterke aardbevingde wereld schudgevoed door woedeen alle boosheidschulden frustratieszo lang broedendonder de oppervlaktespuit dan plotseling omhoogin een inferno van haatof

Soundtrack for Children of Divorce

2007-12-17T23:00:00.000-05:00

If children of divorce had a soundtrack, these would be our songs.updated 12/17/07"25 Years" from the album Throws Like a Girl by Vroom"Because of You" from the album Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson (VIDEO)"Blurry" from the album Come Clean by Puddle of Mudd (VIDEO)"Broken Home" from the album Geek Love by Fan_3"Broken Home" from the album Infest by Papa Roach (VIDEO)"Breathing" from the album, No

First Quote with my New Name

2007-12-17T14:14:00.000-05:00

Thanks to my former publicist, I'm on the rolodex at Life & Style magazine. So I wasn't overly surprised when they called me once again to weigh in on the latest celebrity divorce crisis.This week's issue includes an article on Britney Spears' rumored hope for a reconcilation with her ex, Kevin Federline.My quote is in a full page call out with the headline: Would Getting Back with Kevin Help

new songs for the COD soundtrack: Brother Ali's "Faheem"

2007-12-17T13:34:00.000-05:00

As part of the "Big Clean" to get ready for Dutch Dad and Mom's visit, I'm spending the day catching up on the stack of magazines we've neglected that last few months. An article on Brother Ali in Rolling Stone led me to a new addition to the child of divorce soundtrack.I can't recommend the overall album because the parental advisory sticker is well warranted; however, the lyrics to this song

Go Green. Stay Married.

2007-12-14T13:02:00.000-05:00

Mother Nature feels the pains of divorce By RANDOLPH E. SCHMID,AP Science WriterTue Dec 4, 6:48 PM ETWASHINGTON - Divorce can be bad for the environment. In countries around the world divorce rates have been rising, and each time a family dissolves the result is two new households."A married household actually uses resources more efficiently than a divorced household," said Jianguo Liu, an

Separation Success Stories

2007-12-13T09:29:00.000-05:00

When couples are having trouble, one often overlooked option is "controlled separation," that is, separation as a sort of time out on the marriage, with a goal of working through the issues and eventually reconciling. Controlled separation is not the same as "checking out the single waters." Unfortunately, many times separation is seen as the first step in divorce. It seems rather obvious that if

Back from Betrayal

2007-12-11T12:59:00.000-05:00

I had an interesting call yesterday from Life & Style magazine. They've called a few times before for comments on celebrity splits. The topic of yesterday's conversation was a possible reconciliation between Britney Spears and her ex-husband, Kevin Federline.As part of our conversation, we talked about controlled separation and couples who have made their marriages work after separation or

Hoping for a little help from our GR friends

2007-12-02T18:15:00.000-05:00

Greetings from Ohio,I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving. Niels and I hit our four month anniversary and are loving married life. With one exception. All we want for Christmas (or New Years, or the spring, or soon) is to sell my condo. We're very grateful to have gone from three mortgages to two, but we both vaguely remember having one house payment and would like to experience those days

Just for Fun

2007-11-17T20:53:00.000-05:00

I found this on another blog, and it seemed like fun. I look forward to hearing from you!If you read thisIf your eyes are passing over this right nowEven if we don't speak too oftenPlease post a comment with a memory of you and meIt can be anything you wantGood or BadWhen finished, post this little paragraph on your blogAnd be surprised by what people remember about you.

Just Ours

2007-11-12T18:51:00.000-05:00

Niels and I just returned from one of our favorite places, the VV B&B in Grand Rapids, MI. We had planned to visit my old stomping grounds a few weeks ago, but attending a shower for one baby and the dedication of another was a little too much for me in the days following our miscarriage. So we rescheduled our fix for this weekend.One of the things I miss about GR is the local radio station. On

Postcards from Splitsville

2007-11-07T17:58:00.000-05:00

Thanks to the networking miracle that is MySpace, I learned of a new project for children of divorce, Postcards from Splitsville. They're just getting started, but I encourage you to check it out, and make a postcard of your own.Inspired by Frank Warren’s PostSecret website, Kara Bishop, author of Divorce Doesn't Mean Losing Your Mom/Dad, created a website where children can share their

French President Divorces

2007-10-18T22:46:00.000-04:00

PARIS (Oct. 18) - French President Nicolas Sarkozy and his wife, Cecilia, have divorced after 11 years of marriage and months of questions about their relationship, their lawyer said Thursday. Patrick Kovarik, Pool / Reuters Nicolas and Cecilia Sarkozy, here in 2006, are the first French presidential couple to divorce while in power. They

Chinese Proverb

2007-09-20T09:03:00.000-04:00

In a broken nest there are few whole eggs.Doesn't that about sum it up?This is was another treasure found in my finally dwindling email box. It came from an interesting article by David Stewart, Jr.

Hearts of the Innocent

2007-09-19T11:11:00.000-04:00

One of the great things about being a homemaker is that I finally have time to go through the last four years of paperwork, clean up my files and attack my overflowing email inbox. Each day, my goal is to take care of 25 old emails (in addition to the new day's email).My email has often been used as own personal to do list. So today I found a reminder to myself to add the Kutless song, "Hearts of

All I Want For September...

2007-09-09T19:35:00.000-04:00

Jen's new teeth! Jen's old teeth...Many moons ago, when I was a young pre-teen girl, I was on vacation with my family in Colorado. We were visiting my mom's sister and her family. One day we were out on a golf course. I had never been golfing before. My stepdad and uncle were showing my cousin and I how to swing the club. Apparently, I missed the part about keeping proper distance from someone

The Official Wedding Photos: The Ceremony

2007-09-07T23:40:00.000-04:00

More wedding photos are now available. These are from our official photographer. There are several groupings. The first batch is our ceremony.

One Year Ago...How Niels & I Met

2007-09-07T11:22:00.000-04:00

I've had several requests for this story, and since today marks the one year anniversary of Niels in my life, this seems the perfect time to tell it.HOW I MET MY AMAZING DUTCH HUSBAND, NIELSIn contrast to those who say that God will send Mr. Right when you have your life in order, my life had to first get complete un-ordered. One year ago... • My heart was broken from a relationship that didn't

Gates and Walls

2007-09-06T11:01:00.000-04:00

On Tuesday night, Niels and I were at small group with our house church. In recent weeks, we've been focusing on the topic of Good News, and what it means to live out Christ's gospel in a practical way. We've been talking about the people in our lives...friends, family, co-workers, neighbors. Those who have been part of life for all of our lives, those who've moved or we've moved away from, and

First Month of Forever

2007-08-29T11:36:00.000-04:00

Today is our one month anniversary!!! Lots has happened in the last 31 days, and it's still easy to say I'm thrilled to be Mrs. Niels de Jong. In honor of our first 31 days of marriage, here are top 31 reasons I love being married to Niels:He is a godly man, worthy of my heart and definitely worth the wait!He cracks me up. We laugh a lot!He appreciates the little things I try to do for him--be

American Mom's Wedding Pictures

2007-08-28T17:00:00.000-04:00

The pictures are coming in! Here's a link to Mom's pictures.

More Pictures!

2007-08-24T00:07:00.000-04:00

Click here for pictures from Niels' dad.If you were a guest, please send yours as well...don't hold out on us!

Bailey still loves me!

2007-08-23T22:36:00.000-04:00

While Niels would say that Bailey has become HIS dog. I present the above documentation as evidence that she still loves me!

Jehovah Jireh on Guitar!

2007-08-23T11:15:00.001-04:00

This is a great guitar version of one of my favorite worship songs.Jehovah JirehJehovah JirehMy providerHis grace is sufficient for me(for me, for me)2xMy God shall provide all my needsAccording to His riches and gloryHe gave His angels charge over meJehovah Jireh cares for meoh yeah, I just learned how to post videos on my blog. Stay tuned for more.

One Year Later...House STILL For Sale

2007-08-22T22:31:00.000-04:00

It's been a year of incredible changes, but I realized tonight that one thing that hasn't changed is that my condo is still for sale.Niels and I are keenly aware of this fact, especially as we're on the Jehovah Jireh plan for paying our bills this month!We're very grateful that we are no longer paying for his apartment, and that we have found renters to help offset some of the costs of the condo.

Remembering Dave

2007-08-21T08:14:00.000-04:00

Dave HeilmanJune 3, 1971 - October 10, 2003I made the switch to Gmail about a 18 months ago. Now that it's free, I haven't cancelled my AOL account, but I only check it every few weeks.This morning I received an email from the mother of a friend of mine. After Dave's death, his mom and I have stayed in touch. I've been thinking about Dave lately. Several years ago, for some reason--probably a

A wedding highlight

2007-08-15T18:07:00.000-04:00

This week has been so wonderful and lowkey. I've been spending my time in all things domestic. As I type this, I've got our inaugural loaf of bread rising in our bread maker. We've also been able to enjoy reminiscing about our wedding day.Niels and I chose July 29 as our wedding day for several logistical reasons, and one very important sentimental one: it would have been my mom and dad's 40th

A few new blogs

2007-08-15T12:43:00.001-04:00

Now that I am home all day without wedding plans to create, I am relishing my new career as a homemaker. Niels has joined me in praying for the return of my ability to write. The ideas don't come as easily or as often as they did, but I'm grateful now for the time to make time to jot down my thoughts when they do come.For that reason, I've started two new blogs.The first, with Niels, is our

The Man I Married

2007-08-15T01:23:00.000-04:00

A few days before our wedding, I gave Niels' mom and dad handkerchiefs with these words, "Thank you for raising your son to be the man of my dreams." We're only two weeks into our marriage, but every day I am more amazed at the way God has answered my years of prayers. Neither Niels nor I are perfect, but he is perfect for me, and it's clear to me that God has brought us together as a way of

I'm Married!!!!

2007-08-13T12:06:00.000-04:00

Niels and I are back from our honeymoon, and slowly acclimating to married life. Our wedding day was beautiful. We should have our official pictures soon--and those who were there, please send us your shots too! In the meantime, here's one of my favorites so far: Niels and I with our goddaughter, Hannah, who came all the way from China to be our honorary bubble princess.You can see more pictures

One Week To Go!

2007-07-22T09:03:00.000-04:00

As I write this, the Dutch contingent is USA-bound!Making the trip are:* Niels' parents, Jan & Kitty* Niels' sister, Ingrid (on her first trip to the States)* Ingrid's boyfriend, Bart* Niels' Oma (Grandma)* Niels' Tanta (Aunt) GerdaI spent my last night at the Prices, who have so graciously put me up for the last six months or so and made my transition from Michigan to Ohio so much easier. They

Miles on Miles

2007-07-12T10:42:00.000-04:00

This week the odometer on Miles, my 1998 Mazda Protege, passed 100,000. It's my second Protege. I drove my last one to 140,000, so I'm sure Miles will stick around a bit longer. As I watched the numbers flip to six digits, I remembered a piece I wrote six years ago when I first bought this car.Of Miles and MenOctober 2001Recently, I experienced a difficult betrayal. This friend had been my

License to Wed

2007-07-05T23:07:00.000-04:00

We are officially licensed to wed. We were tempted to elope when we went to the courthouse, but decided we could wait a few more days.The courthouse itself was gorgeous! We admired the glass and jade atrium before signing in with the clerk. We passed them looking at old marriage registrations from the 20's. Lots of rubberworkers in Akron at that time! Most of the brides were 18-20 though we saw

God's Amazing Ways

2007-06-28T01:39:00.000-04:00

It's one month and one day from my wedding and love is on my mind. Yesterday was one of those amazing days where God lifts the blinders from our eyes and allows us to see the beautiful tapestry He has made of the loose ends of our life.I woke up and found an email from a good friend of mine. She's had a rough year, coming up on the one year anniversary of her father's death, which comes shortly

Words of Wedded Wisdom

2007-06-26T00:47:00.000-04:00

My Michigan friends threw me a bridal shower a few weeks ago. Since I am one of the last of my friends to marry, I'm able to learn from their experiences. My friends put together a book of marriage advice for me. It's good stuff, so I decided to share.If you have wisdom to share, I'd love to hear it!In Terms of a Lifetime...In those moments when a situation seems SO important to you and the other

The Healing

2007-06-12T14:06:00.000-04:00

Last weekend, my cousin, Nick, graduated from high school. Like most of our family, he has divorced parents. My aunt Lori posted about how she and Nick's dad planned the grad party. With so many milestones marred by awkward family dynamics, Aunt Lori makes me proud!(Congrats, Nick!)

My Mirror

2007-06-06T03:58:00.001-04:00

Fifteen or so years ago, I prayed that God would direct my prayers for my future husband. A time of solitude led me to a list of ten character qualities, plus one verse:Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart—I Samuel 16: 7Now that I know the one

Happy Birthday, Sweetie!

2007-06-02T15:10:00.000-04:00

Today is my Dutch sweetie's birthday! Thirty-three years ago in the Netherlands, Niels was born on a beautiful June day. Today, unfortunately, I am unable to be with him because my cold has kept me here in Ohio. He's off in Canada visiting some friends who I know will take good care to celebrate his life with him today. In 56 days, my Dutch sweetie becomes my handsome, almost-permanent American

No Spend Wednesdays

2007-05-23T11:46:00.000-04:00

Niels and I were talking the other day about money. For the most part, we share pretty similar views on finances. We're both no debt kind of people, we're rather have the security of no debt than any potential tax advantages from a write off. We pay for things in cash as we have money for them, and have a similar view of ourselves as stewards, not owners, of what God has entrusted to us. In that

It's Official!

2007-05-14T22:27:00.000-04:00

How I Survived the Happiest Day of My Life...

2007-04-23T23:24:00.000-04:00

...is the subtitle of a well-timed book I just finished, A More Perfect Union by Hana Schank.I identify with Hana, a first-time bride in her thirties who initially scoffs at the crazy customs of WeddingWorld. Part-memoir, part social commentary, it's all good. Hana's yearlong engagement affirmed our decision to plan our nuptials in four months. From my own observations of TheKnot.com and the

Saying Goodbye to BC

2007-04-09T22:39:00.000-04:00

I spent the day driving back to Michigan. It took a little longer than expected as I ran into a few traffic issues and yet another freak snowstorm! The drive gave me lots of time to think about the purpose of this particular trip: packing up my house in Michigan. It isn't sold--YET--but Niels' house needs the furniture, so off I went. It's bittersweet. I've lived in this house for six years--some

Go Drake!

2007-04-08T22:52:00.000-04:00

A little off topic, but today Zach Johnson made my alma mater proud, beating Tiger Woods to win the Masters in Augusta, GA. He started at Drake the fall after I graduated, so I never knew him, but I was very pleasantly surprised to also learn that he's a Christian too.Go Blue!

Ooh Crap!

2007-04-05T21:04:00.000-04:00

In my travels this year (nine countries so far this year and another coming up in a few months), I often get a kick out of the local signs. Last weekend, our Canadian friends commented on a billboard here in town advertising a local divorce lawyer with the unfortunate slogan, "When diamonds aren't forever." Today, Niels and I got a laugh when we found a sign for this helpful business.

Generation Ex on Amazon...Again

2007-04-05T10:23:00.000-04:00

Great News! The FamilyLife edition of Generation Ex is finally available on Amazon.

The End of "The Christmas Story"

2007-04-05T03:54:00.000-04:00

A few weeks ago, when my Mom was up in Ohio to meet Niels, we decided to go out for Chinese. I had just returned from China so I was missed that great cuisine. We drove around a bit, and ended up in the very same Chinese restaurant from the movie, The Christmas Story. It's one of my favorite holiday movies and even though I've probably seen in a hundred times by now, I still laugh out loud each

From the Keukenhof

2007-03-24T05:25:00.000-04:00

On Wednesday, we drove to the coast to a little town that hosts a huge flower garden, the Keukenhof. It seemed a very fitting place to take some engagement pictures.This is one of my favorites. I love the look of contentment and peace on Niels' face.

My future in laws

2007-03-21T05:55:00.000-04:00

Almost fifteen years ago I took a "retreat of silence"--a weekend away by myself to think about my life, reflect on some things and really ask God for direction. It was a very significant point in my life for several reasons.First, I sensed God give me a life mission:To establish a godly heritageTo make an eternal differenceTo choose joy, regardless of my circumstancesSome years ago, I came to

Engagement pictures!!

2007-03-21T05:50:00.000-04:00

Here are a few of the pictures from our Paris engagement! Niels is such a romantic!

At Last!!!!

2007-03-20T04:05:00.000-04:00

After 35 long years, God has answered my prayer in an amazing way.Last night, in a garden at the foot of the Eiffel Tower in Paris, France, Niels proposed to me and I said YES! Niels is an incredible, godly man. I love that he is so open and loving, teachable and humble, intelligent and curious. I see him around the kids I live with and know he's going to be a great dad. He's a human GPS, so I

We made it!

2007-03-17T21:58:00.000-04:00

It's 3 in the morning here in Holland, but since it's only 10 in the States, of course I'm wide awake. Don't tell Niels I'm still up! He sent me to bed hours ago!Our trip to Europe was wonderfully eventful, a fact we especially appreciate after learning of planes that spent the night on the runway due to the freak storm in NY...where we flew out from just a few hours early!No upgrade to business

And we're off!

2007-03-14T18:31:00.000-04:00

My year of international travel continues this week. After starting the year off in China, and a trip to Canada last month, my boyfriend Niels is taking me on a European adventure. We leave tomorrow (Thursday) and arrive Friday morning in Cologne, Germany. The flight is eight hours, but after surviving the thirteen hour flights to/from China, I think I'll be okay!The trip started off as a joke

Home for Sale: Take 2

2007-03-14T00:11:00.000-04:00

When Niels and I were talking to his mortgage guy, he affirmed his decision to buy by saying that Ohio is the second least worst real estate market. Key quote: "Only Michigan is worse." Sigh... There was a nice 24 hour period where it looked like I had both an interested buyer and renter, but alas, both possibilities fell through. So, as of tomorrow, the house is back on the market again.If

Kellie Pickler: "I Wonder"

2007-03-12T17:09:00.000-04:00

Last season on American Idol, Kellie Pickler, provided a lot of entertainment with her thoughts (or lack of) on a variety of topics.Her new single, however, offers a little more depth to her character:I Wonderperformed by Kellie PicklerSometimes I think about youWonder if you’re out there somewhere thinkin’ ‘bout meAnd would you even recognize the woman that your little girl has grown up to be‘

Deciding to Decide

2007-03-08T12:15:00.000-05:00

In the three years since Generation Ex was first published , I've refered to certain sections more than others. One that I've often shared, especially as I talk with other singles, has to do with how to feel confident about entering marriage with a particular person.The following is an excerpt from the chapter "Anticipating Our Triggers:"The Romance TriggerAs Wallerstein discovered, the prospect

And so it begins....

2007-03-07T18:27:00.000-05:00

I'm not the most political person--though I loved West Wing. Today I ran across an article about Presidential hopeful Rudy Giuliani of interest to children of divorce:RUDY'S FAMILY VALUESMar 6, 2007News.yahooMaggie GallagherBack when he was mayor, Rudy Giuliani made a very good point: "75 percent of adolescents charged with murder grew up without fathers. ... "(I)f you wanted a social program

Living Life

2007-03-07T09:49:00.000-05:00

It took me longer than the average author to write Generation Ex. In some ways, one might say it took my whole life because I first had to experience parental divorce before I could write about it. While that's true, it also took me longer once the book was contracted. Of course I had submitted a proposal, and my publisher had approved the general content and theme, but I still had to find 65,00

Toronto

2007-03-01T23:31:00.000-05:00

This is one of my favorite pictures from our trip to Toronto last weekend. We're laying down on the glass floor in the CN Tower, the world's tallest building. If you look very carefully, you can see the streets below.

Making My Day

2007-02-28T15:25:00.000-05:00

I am finally over my jetlag and laryngitis, and Niels and I have been keeping very busy. Last weekend we were in Canada where I was able to meet some of his friends. (In three weeks, we're off to Europe to meet his family and spend a few days in Paris!) It was a whirlwind trip, staying with one set of friends and meeting several others.A highlight of the trip was meeting Gary, a friend who was

To Sum Up

2007-02-08T09:14:00.000-05:00

I'm sick of being sick!I'm happy to be settling in to my new life in Ohio, but I sure have grander plans than fighting this cold and laryngitis. After 11 days, my throat is finally making a sound that somewhat resembles a voice and my thoughts are expanding beyond, "Eat," "Drink," "Bathroom" and "Sleep." Since I'm headed up to Michigan tomorrow night, it'd be really nice to kick this thing today!

Happy Anniversary!

2007-02-02T00:07:00.000-05:00

Today is the 16th anniversary of the day God moved from sentiment to Savior in my life.

Speechless

2007-02-01T23:31:00.000-05:00

Apparently the craziness of that has filled the calender of young 2007 has caught up with me. I've been sick with laryngitis all week. Despite not feeling all that great, it's been an AMAZING week and I look forward to sharing details about it soon!

Buying is more fun than Selling

2007-01-30T14:26:00.000-05:00

In his ongoing effort to show his love for me and trust in me, my ever-so-wonderful boyfriend "hired" me to help him with his house search. He had purchased a home in Belgium, but housing laws are a little different here in the US.With the help of my mom and Canton friends, I found a mortgage lender, got the paperwork ready for our meeting, found a realtor, and scouted a few homes.On Sunday, he

Buckeye Bound Bash - January 27

2007-01-22T19:55:00.000-05:00

This Saturday I'm saying goodbye to my life in Grand Rapids. My good friend Jen VV is hosting my Buckeye Bound Bon Voyage Bash. It's really more of an open house, starting at 7pm on Saturday the 27th.If you've in the Grand Rapids area, I'd love the opportunity to catch up, show off my boyfriend, and say goodbye to all the people who have made my eight years in Michigan so wonderful.If you'd like

Another Milestone

2007-01-21T02:25:00.000-05:00

This has been quite the week. It started with a milestone birthday, and ends with a milestone anniversary. Today is the 3rd anniversary of the day I sustained my Mild Traumatic Brain Injury (MTBI). In other words, the day my old life ended and my new life began. Slowly, I'm coming to embrace my new life. In the three years since my accident, most everything in my life has changed--from my home to

A China Update...Sort of

2007-01-20T04:20:00.000-05:00

My dear friends in China are starting to emerge from the internet blackout and have posted a few comments and pictures from our trip. So far all those waiting with bated breath for details, head over here.Meanwhile, I'm back to counting sheep....

MTBIs in the NFL

2007-01-20T03:09:00.000-05:00

Between a new church that meets on Sunday afternoons, three weeks in China and a rather rotten season by my favorite team, this year's NFL season seems to have slipped by me. Now that I'm Stateside again, I'm looking forward to enjoying the football feast this weekend.I found this rather disturbing article on ESPN.com. With mild traumatic brain injuries (MTBI) being a topic close to my heart (

Joys of Jet Lag

2007-01-19T17:43:00.000-05:00

What a week! In the last seven days, I have flown literally halfway around the world, moved from Michigan to Ohio, and celebrated (okay, maybe acknowledged) a milestone birthday. I'm tired.In 1999, I took a ten day tour of Israel. I adjusted fine to the eight hour time change, but upon my return I crashed hard for about a day and a half. I had a few more days of weird waking hours, but then I was

Found on a piece of paper while packing up my home...

2007-01-16T05:09:00.000-05:00

I miss who I was, not because I was perfect but because I was known.

Something Old for the New Year

2007-01-15T15:24:00.002-05:00

I posted the few "Jen's Jottings" from my website--my attempts at blogging before I knew what blogging was. They were also written pre-head injury.A Word on TrustA Word on FearThe End -- in memory of my grampa, who died three years ago this weekA Conversation with God About Desire

Back in the States

2007-01-15T13:47:00.000-05:00

We arrived safely home early in the morning, Friday, January 12 with most of our luggage intact. One bag took the slow boat from China, and another has gone to the baggage carousel in the sky. My Ohio welcome team arrived on Saturday and yesterday I made the move to my new home. I'm still very sleep deprived and discombobulated, but thanks to the wonder of internet (how I've missed it!), you can

Happy New Year from China!

2007-01-05T16:41:00.000-05:00

We welcomed the new year 13 hours ahead of my friends at home in Eastern time in the US. We ushered in the new year by playing Catan and a new game, Ticket to Ride.Shortly before midnight, we paused our game to turn on the TV to tune into the countdown. We've picked up enough Chinese to understand the last few numbers. The real new year celebration of course, is Spring Festival--Chinese New Year.

English corner

2006-12-30T22:18:00.000-05:00

Ni hao to all my friends from English Corner !!

Unplugged

2006-12-29T18:37:00.000-05:00

Ni Hao from China!My blogging aspirations from China have been temporarily delayed due to the earthquake in Taiwan (see CNN). I hope we'll be back online soon. In the meantime, I'm limited to email. (Thank you, Niels, for posting this on my behalf).I remember how as a child how my mom, in an effort to get me to finish my meal, would tell me about children in China. It's mind-blowing to believe

China: Day 1

2006-12-24T12:01:00.000-05:00

It's midnight. Christmas Day, 2006. Our bags have been packed and repacked, weighed, shuffled and repacked. My house is clean--hopefully for a potential buyer, and definitely for some Ohio friends who will come up for a weekend while I'm gone. My brain is fried and my body tired, so I'm going upstairs for a few hours sleep before the journey begins.Melva and I will head to the GR airport at 8:15

Christmas in China!

2006-12-23T16:39:00.000-05:00

My holiday celebration will be a bit different this year. For the last several years, more often then not, I found myself down the street celebrating Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, birthdays and other special days. In August of this year, my GR family moved to China. Thanks to the financial support of some good friends, I will be heading to Beijing Christmas morning with my friend, Melva. We'll

Snapshots

2006-12-19T09:27:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, my boyfriend's parents celebrated their 37th anniversary. It saddens me that so many couples have lost the opportunity to celebrate double digit anniversaries due to divorce. I was talking to my mom yesterday as she opened her Christmas gifts from me. One the books I gave her was about retirement. She was skimming through it and reading different headings to me. One had to do with

Selling a Home is a Lot Like Dating....

2006-12-18T10:19:00.000-05:00

On Saturday, I had my fourth showing. As I recuperate from the flurry that is preparing for a showing, it occurred to me that selling a home is a lot like dating. There's a lot of praying that someone will notice you. The heart goes pitter-patter when the phone rings to set up a date. You run around before the appointed hour trying to make everything look just right. And then--especially as a

The Red Plate Blessing

2006-12-16T15:54:00.000-05:00

Someday, when my brain is working again, and I can write again, I'd like to write about how Generations X and Y are embracing ritual and tradition as they raise their families. I have a long list of ideas I hope to incorporate with my own family.In a few short weeks--after I return from China--I will be moving in with an amazing family in Ohio. It'll be an adjustment going from a nice-sized home

Celebrating Sinterklaas

2006-12-05T09:17:00.000-05:00

Today is December 5, and as I'm quickly learning, the day the Dutch celebrate Sinterklaas.About a month ago I was in the Dutch store here in Grand Rapids (the Netherlands of North America), and saw a display filled with chocolate letters. A sign explained that part of the Sinterklaas tradition is giving chocolate bars in the shape of the first letter of one's name. So, I bought an "N" for my new

New Edition to the COD Soundtrack

2006-11-26T23:35:00.000-05:00

Thanks to anonymous for alerting me to Lindsey Lohan's song, "Confessions Of A Broken Heart" It's found on her album, A Little More Personal (Raw). The video offers an insightful look at Lindsay's private pain in the midst of her parents' very public divorce.Confessions Of A Broken HeartI wait for the postman to bring me a letterI wait for the good Lord to make me feel betterAnd I carry the

Becoming a Buckeye

2006-11-24T20:54:00.000-05:00

It's official....I have my Ohio driver's license. Now if only I could sell my house in Michigan! I'll be shuttling back and forth until January when I hope to start vocational rehab in Canton.Not sure about a school with a nut for a mascot, but Ohioans are quite nuts about their team. If you want to show a little love for my new home state, click here to purchase the children's book pictured.

Coping with Christmas

2006-11-09T19:36:00.000-05:00

Next week is Thanksgiving, ushering in what is often the most difficult time of the year for families affected by divorce. With that in mind, here's a article Ann Byle wrote for Christianity Today a few years ago.Coping with Christmas For adult children of divorced parents, the holidays aren't as happy as they are supposed to be. Author Jen Abbas has some advice.By Ann ByleThe holiday season can

House STILL For Sale

2006-11-03T11:51:00.000-05:00

I'm coming up on the third anniversary of my first head injury. I've been pretty amazed by the way God has provided for my needs during this time. I continue to learn and accept the way this injury has changed my life, and while I'm sad by many of the changes, I can also embrace the blessings.One of the blessings for which I'm most thankful is the new family of friends He has given me in Canton,

MEDIA ALERT: The River 100.5 and Lite Rock 95.7

2006-11-02T23:26:00.000-05:00

Today I braved the Michigan snow to meet Judy Wagley from The River 100.5 FM here in Grand Rapids. We had a great time recording 20 minute interview that will air next Sunday morning, November 12th on both The River and their sister station, WLTE Lite Rock 95.7The inteview will air at 8am on WLTE and 9am on The River. If you're not here in GR, you can listen online.

Approaching Marriage (FamilyLife Interview Day 5)

2006-10-27T14:23:00.000-04:00

Adult Children of Divorce: Healing the Pain That Lives On10/2/2006Divorce has a dramatic impact on the lives of children. But how does it affect a person's approach to marriage as an adult? Today on the broadcast, Dennis Rainey talks with Jen Abbas, author of Generation Ex, and researcher Elizabeth Marquardt, both adult children of divorce, about how how their parents' divorce affected their

Forgiving Our Parents (FamilyLife Interview Day 4)

2006-10-26T09:50:00.000-04:00

Adult Children of Divorce: Healing the Pain That Lives On10/26/2006Today on the broadcast, Jen Abbas, author of the book Generation Ex, and Elizabeth Marquardt, director of the Center for Marriage and Families at the Institute for American Values, talk about forgiving their parents for the divorces that catapulted them as children into a strange new world often difficult to navigate or